A Difficult {But Easy} Decision

The past few days have been weighing heavily on my mind...

Last Wednesday, I received a phone call from my workplace, asking of my intentions for returning to teaching next year - and I must admit, I was a little taken aback... even more so when my decision was encouraged by Friday.

The pit of my stomach suddenly became noticeable...
A dull ache... a pining for the memories I was potentially set to loose.

The swelling of my throat made it difficult to swallow...
As were the thoughts of leaving my most cherished.

The pin pricks tingled my eyes...
The very eyes that bare witness to Sage's daily changes.

My current leave period is scheduled to end in February 2013, so my thoughts hadn't really crossed to those work-related at this stage of the year. Silly really, as I knew leave applications were often done throughout the winter months, but to be truthful, I'd had other precious things occupying my thoughts and my days. If I was wanting to take more leave and stay at home for awhile longer with Sage, my decision had to be made with haste.

Si and I sat, working on scenarios and budgets, budgets and scenarios.

We mulled

and we deliberated

and we questioned

and we contemplated

and we reflected

But deep in my heart of hearts, I knew.

My soul said it with whispers, my mind; with volumes, but my body's physical reaction to the conjuring images of days without my sweet were the deafening crescendo.

My place, my heart, my love is at home... so home is where I belong. For now.

No matter how financially stretched a sole income will lead us to be, we can manage... just.

And as long as we can manage... just, that is good enough for me. If a simple, modest, humble life is what is required in order for me to spend my days with our little wren, I am willing to give up anything.

Sage is our richest blessing.

And we are rich in love.

some people are so poor, all they have is money


  1. Some people are so poor, all they have is money... love it. Thanks Anna for sharing. I feel the love you have for Sage and although it may be tough at times, how precious this time will be.

    Debbie (Serojales)

    1. Thank you Deb, the relief I feel is huge. Yes, it'll will be tougher than we're used to financially, but we'll get by. Time to start planting those veggies I think! Your new little Amaya is just divine; I bet Shaella is a fabulous 'helper'! xxx

  2. Well done honey. You will never regret this. We have done it tight these last few years too, but I wouldn't change it for the world! At least you have finished your degree :-) lol!

    1. I feel such a contentedness with our decision. It was absolutely the best for us! The incredible bond you have with your delightful children just shows how valuable that precious time is. Degrees will always be there for later! x

  3. What beautiful pictures. And those eyes. A lovely post.

  4. I wish I'd given more time to my eldest child and stayed home longer. Money didn't come into the equation at the time, it was the students I had left behind that were missing out and that pull was strong. I so much wish I'd put family first. Well done Anna for putting your gorgeous girl first.


Your comments brighten my day, thank you!