Two Pink Lines {a year ago today}

On this day, one year ago, we found out Sage was going to join our little family.

And we were ecstatic beyond belief!

I know it’s completely ridiculous, looking back now {isn’t hindsight a joy?}, but I was so upset when I didn’t fall pregnant within the first month of trying. It’s a bizarre mind-shift, from doing everything possible not to fall pregnant, to then doing anything possible to fall pregnant.  Once that mind-shift occurred, I think I expected it to happen instantly {silly, I know!}. After all; we were no longer taking contraception, we were in a loving relationship, we were doing the necessary ‘things’ to become pregnant {!}, so why wouldn’t it happen straight away? I realised I was in desperate need of a reality check and promptly decided then and there to get over myself. To let nature be our guide and have belief in my body; that we would be blessed with a baby when we were meant to be, no sooner, no later. I’d lost sight in my own belief that babies choose when to enter the world. Our baby would come to us when he or she decided it was time.

My period had always been fairly regular, so when it didn’t appear over the space of a few days, after a few months of ‘trying', I had an inkling this may be it. I took a test on Tuesday morning and one strong line, plus one faint line appeared. I knew that having a second line at all was a good sign, but as it was dull, I didn’t want to get my hopes up.

Diary entry - Tuesday, May 10^th 2011 – “Two pink lines. Perhaps you’ve arrived? Trying not to get my hopes up, just in case, but I have a feeling, this is it!"

I decided to try another test the next morning, this time choosing a digital version. The words on the screen would tell me for certain. Either PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT. I had flutters of nervous anticipation for the next 24 hours.

At this stage, Simon was working in Queenstown, and throughout this time he either had to leave very early in the morning or a couple of times a week, he’d stay down there overnight to minimise travel. As tests are more accurate in the mornings with higher urine concentration levels, Simon was unfortunately not with me when it was time to test.

Standing there on my own in the kitchen, the word we’d been hoping for instantly appeared on the test screen …

PREGNANT

Tears pricked my eyes. A lump formed in my throat. I grinned the biggest grin I think I ever had in my whole life. There was really a baby growing in my 'tummy' and I felt so unbelievably, unequivocally LUCKY.

I’d done the test very early (somewhere around  5am) as I was far too excited to sleep. I tried calling Simon instantly, but of course, he was sound asleep! When he woke to his 6.30am alarm, I’m sure he was greeted with close to 50 missed calls! Of course he called back immediately, and was absolutely thrilled with the news!

Diary entry -Wednesday, May 11^th 2011, “ahhhh bliss! I know you’re there. How surreal to actually see the word… PREGNANT! I know you’ll be fine, you’ll make it, and you’ll be perfect.”

All of this happened a year ago today, Little One. And you are fine, you did make it, and you are perfect.

{Photo - my pregnancy confirmation from the doctors surgery a few weeks later. Yes, I kept it!}