THIRTYFOUR | FIFTYTWO

A portrait of my little ones; once a week, every week, in 2014

Sage - warm milk before bedtime stories, snuggles and songs 

Alby - soaking in the sunshine on a cool,crisp Winter's morning

{The 52 Project, inspired by the lovely Jodi}

Thirteen | FiftyTwo

A portrait of my little ones; once a week, every week, in 2014

Sage - a couple of times this week, you haven't had your usual midday sleep...  this was 5pm on one of those days

Alby - sweet, sleepy, windy smiles 

{The 52 Project, inspired by the lovely Jodi}

Flying Solo

Tuesday marked the first day in my parenting journey, caring for our two littles completely solo. Although Si returned to work the day after Alby's birth {such is the relief teacher game}, we had many family and friends visiting during those initial five days, that I was never without support or company. I promised myself in the lead up that our day would be as relaxed and carefree as possible. No outings, no expectations - just a gentle simplicity to ease us into our new dynamic...

Peppa Pig in bed while mummy does the morning feed  //  sleepy little fox  //  playroom demolition  //  feeding time at the zoo  //  breakfast banquet  //  Percy joins us for the occasion  //  miss independent  //  and still, he sleeps  //  mummy folding washing = Sage wearing mummy's clothes  //  Playschool  //  clearing the 'draft' folder  //  he wakes and guzzles...  //  while she sorts buttons  //  it must be love  //  an easy lunch  //  she refuses a day sleep without me beside her, so naturally we play trains instead  //  he's a delight, this one  //  a healing delivery in the mail  //  0000's already looking a little small  //  drawing for daddy - "a kangaroo going 'hop, hop, hop', looking for a puppy dog"  //  'big toilet' time  //  daddy home, mummy showers... with these at her feet  //  a refreshing way to end the day


Any tips for surviving managing life with two?  :-)

One | FiftyTwo

A portrait of my little ones; once a week, every week, in 2014

Sage - lately I've noticed you sitting, often deep in thought, as you grapple with your ever-increasing understandings of the world

Panda -  my heart already yearns for your homecoming, my darling boy {34 weeks}

{The 52 Project, inspired by the lovely Jodi}

49/52 {The Beauty Sleep Edition}

A portrait of my little wren, once a week, every week, in 2013

Sage - you absolutely despise bedtime... but come the dawning of a new day, you glow

{The 52 Project, inspired by the ever lovely Jodi}  

Sleeping Beauty

 

 

We did it!

 

Last night, Sage spent her first night away from our bedside, transitioning from her bassinet in our room to her cot in the nursery at the grand age of 8 months. The move was one I'd been resisting for the longest time and although it felt like a little piece of my heart was missing out in the darkness, I didn't have to wait long for blissful snuggles with my little love... Sage woke every hour and a half from 11pm, tallying 4 feeds in total {!}

 

But of course, the morning brings with it a whole new day, and the rising of our little sunshine!

 

 

 

 



Sleep... Where For Art Thou?

Hazy fog,

Niggling doubt,

Conflicting advice.

... our minds were filled last week.



Sage's sleep 'patterns' have been causing us endless wondering - adding to that already inconquerable pile that comes with navigating the uncharted waters of first-time parenting.

We're not worried... just wondering.

And tired



Her lightly swaddled, sleeping body is carefully laid on a warmed mattress at around 7.30pm each evening and she rises with the filtering sun and vibrant calls of the morning birds at 6am each day. After sleeping through the night during her first few months of life, her norm became waking twice for feeds, usually at 1 and 4am, or sometimes 2 and 5.

We became accustomed to this Sage-initiated routine and upon the slumbersome fall of darkness, we were confident of what each night would hold. Instinctively, I came to anticipate her wakings; my eyes adjusting to the dimness of our sleepy sanctuary, sweet milk flowing in preparation for her contented gulps - often just moments before she'd stir.

Sleeping by my bedside, always within arms reach, I cherish having her close. Hearing the rise and fall of her silky breath and her sweet, dreamy sighs. Comforting bad dreams with soft lullabies and reassuring hands. Gently drawing her close to nurse in the quiet still of the inky darkness...


But now the time has come;
   the time that I knew would eventually arrive, but have been desperately resisting
   the time that brings with it a dull unease at even its mere thought

...the time that Sage has outgrown the cosy cocooned nest of her bassinet and the time that takes my baby girl from being by my side, to her cot... in her nursery... in another room... away


This week it has got to be time...
But it's weighing heavily on my heart


In preparation for the transition from our bedside to her nursery, we thought it may be best to begin encouraging Sage to gradually decrease those two nightly feeds to one

and in doing so, we found ourselves at three...

Yes, three!

{And some nights more.}    

"That'll teach you Mum!"


We tried settling in place of one of her usual feeds, which would work -- but only for a short time.

And I would be left feeling uneasy -
as I hadn't comforted her the way she needed.

And I would be left laying in anticipation, as her settled time was guaranteed to be short -
as I hadn't comforted her the way she needed.

And so she'd wake again -
and I'd end up feeding her anyway.

So our minds last week were filled, with

   hazy fog,

   niggling doubt,

   conflicting advice,

             as we stuck at this 'settling routine' for five days straight.


And we were tired


This week, instead of pacing the floors of our home in the chilled evening air for up to an hour, I choose to keep both my soul and my baby contented by cradling her to my chest, breathing her in and satisfying her desire for sweet, short bursts of nighttime Mumma love.

After all, it's only for a time...

    in the blink of an eye she will be grown and no longer need me in the way she does now

So this time, I will cherish.

Later in the week, Sage will spend her first night in her nursery.

I am strong,    I am strong,    I am strong.

I will be strong...

tomorrow?

Today

today - Photo a Day, August

high temps, body rashes and feeling unwell calls for a lot of snuggles and sleepy cuddles

Calm

calm - Photo a Day, July

I'm holding on to those last few centimetres of head space in her bassinet like there's no tomorrow.

Her quiet breaths and gentle stirrings through the night are a calming comfort, just like the consistent rumble of my father's snores heard in the inky darkness from my childhood bed.

I'm not quite ready to let go, just yet.

Then again will I ever be?